Have you ever heard of the 'Elephant mindset'? It is a motivational story illuminating how our mindsets, or core beliefs about ourselves, can push us to greatness, or confine us to a cage of our own making.
Summary of the elephant mindset story
A man was walking along one day when he spotted large elephants tied to trees with thin easily breakable ropes. He asked the man close-by why the elephants didn't just break the ropes and go free. The man relayed to him the following story;
When elephants are young, their trainers will use a thin rope to tie them to a tree, effectively limiting their ability to move around. The more the young elephant strains to get free, the more it becomes aware of how stuck it is. Overtime, it realizes that there is no use in trying, as it isn't strong enough to attain freedom.
As the elephant grows larger, it no longer struggles against its restraints, having learned while small, that it is an effort in futility. The elephant accepts the fate of being tied up. As it grows, it becomes bigger and stronger, entirely unaware that it has the ability to end it's own plight.
The cage keeping the elephant imprisoned, is the constraints of its own mind, illustrating how damaging a limiting mindset can be.
When the elephant has reached adulthood, the trainer is still able to use the same thin rope to tie it up. The poor animal will believe itself to be incapable of breaking free, and will remain in place without even testing the rope. Its belief that the rope is stronger than itself, is enough to keep it from trying. The limiting beliefs that it picked up about itself as a young elephant carried through to adulthood, impairing its confidence in itself and its perception of reality. This is the concept behind the elephant mindset, also known as a fixed or limiting mindset.
Concept
This story is a great analogy demonstrating how a fixed mindset may be limiting us from taking action or pursuing success. Which effectively keeps us in a cycle of self doubt, feeling stuck and unable to make the changes we long for. We don't believe ourselves capable of attaining the outcomes we desire. Our minds tell us that we don't have the strength, the commitment, the intelligence, the looks, whatever it may be that we believe we need in order to succeed. How do we escape this mindset? Before we get to that, lets investigate the reasons that we may end up with these beliefs about ourselves.
Where it starts
It seems like we all have that small voice in the back of our minds. That part of ourselves that has accepted and held onto negative experiences, and believed that they somehow reflect our self-worth. Somewhere along the path of our lives we have been subjected to someone who has hurt, disrespected, or devalued us. Someone whose voice eventually became that negative, belittling voice of our own.
When we allow the things that other people say and do to affect us, not only are we allowing them to decide our worth, we are letting them dictate how we feel about ourselves. We are seeking personal validation where none is to be found. We carry these beliefs with us like baggage, thinking that they are our downfalls. We try to own them, as though these negative thoughts of self are a part of us and are somehow deserved.
This mindset draws us to the conclusion that there are things in life that, no matter how hard we try, we just aren't capable of achieving. It limits us in what we believe we can do, closing the door on the possibility of success. Success isn't something people are born with, nor is it something that comes without its challenges, it requires hard work and dedication to see our dreams through.
Social media is another aspect that can hinder our growth and have ill effects on our mental health. It is an intricately designed portrayal of life, a carefully curated illusion, made in an attempt to control how we are perceived. Many people post only the most positive things in their lives, making it look disproportionately happier than it really is.
If not viewed as a novelty and with discretion, social media's constant bombardment can exacerbate the negative beliefs we may have of ourselves. It is human nature to compare ourselves to others. It is also human nature to be our own worst critics. The combination of the two can lead our minds down a dark path of self-doubt and keep us stuck in place. Warning young people about the mental health pitfalls of social media, and teaching them that people portray themselves in their 'best light', will encourage youth to take social media with a grain of salt. Hopefully learning to view it as it is, a highly altered rendition of reality.
While these thoughts about ourselves are solidified in our minds when we are young and impressionable, we may not necessarily realize that they are not our own beliefs until much later in life. We are each in charge of our thoughts, actions and emotions, and it is up to us to create the life we want to live, casting aside our self-deprecating traits.
A great way to stop comparing ourselves to others is to turn our attention inward and do our best to focus on how we can better ourselves or our circumstances. We shouldn't compare ourselves to others because, though some of us are similar, none of us are exactly the same or have the same experiences, support or circumstances. The best comparison we can do is to compare our current selves to our past selves, which is the only way for us to accurately measure our own growth and personal development.
Changing our mindset
The best way to remove a negative mindset is to replace it with a positive one. Instead of a fixed/limiting mindset (elephant mindset), we want to foster one of growth. We need to undo the misconceptions that we have believed about ourselves for so long, replacing them with loving kindness and self-care. Learning to be gentle with ourselves and nurturing our minds towards self acceptance, will lead us down a much healthier path than humoring the hurtful comments of that judgmental voice of our inner critic. A growth mindset entails viewing challenges as opportunities for growth and a chance to blossom.
We often speak to others with more respect than our internal narrator speaks to us. Let's try treating ourselves with the kindness and forgiveness that we extend to others. We need to be careful with negative inner commentary, because what we tell ourselves is what we believe about ourselves. If you tell yourself you are successful, you have a greater chance of succeeding than if you feed yourself negativity. Telling ourselves that we will fail before we even try, can be painfully debilitating in our pursuit of a content and fulfilling existence. Growth happens over time, through a routine of patience and compassion for ourselves. If we wish to better our circumstances, it starts first with being aware of where our thoughts are going, and focusing on maintaining a positive outlook of life and ourselves.
Making the choice to not take offense to other peoples actions or words is the most freeing thing we can do for our mental health. Just because someone hurls an insult toward us, it doesn't make the insult true, and only if we accept it as true will we feel pained by it. It isn't aimed at us though, not in reality. It is a reflection of that person, and their inner struggle and negative self critic, don't accept something that isn't meant for you. Once we begin to think and talk to ourselves in a positive way, our self respect and acceptance will be far stronger, making us impervious to negative external factors. Steadfast in our love, respect and acceptance of ourselves, immovable accept by our own choosing. Understanding that how other people act and speak is indicative of how they view themselves, and has little to do with us.
Conclusion
From a young age we are like little sponges, looking to soak up any and all information we are offered. If we are in an environment that isn't conducive to positive growth, we will be less likely to be able to emulate positive growth as well. Children require constant encouragement and loving support in order to cultivate positive self-talk and self-acceptance. Leading by example will encourage children to respect and honor themselves, seeing the power of having boundaries, and believing in their own limitless potential. We may never be fully free of our limiting mindset, but we can decrease the hold it has on our minds, by indulging in self-love and creating a self-care routine.
Regardless of our backgrounds, we can make the choice to break free from the cage of our minds, and enjoy the freedom and enrichment that positive self-talk provides.
Take good care. Love yourself, love each other.
#selfcare #loveyourself #elephantmindset #limitlesspotential #selfrespect #boundaries #mentalhealth #growthmindset #believeinyourself
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puuqoo
I’ve never seen myself described quite so eloquently as this. But it surely does! I can remember when I first realized that I was tied to that tree (so to speak), and I suddenly felt so much freer by simply changing my thinking patterns. Thank you for this very enlightening article, I am sure there are many others who can relate too!