"He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has" -Epictetus.
True wealth is evidenced by living a contented life, being happy with what we have, without even a thought for what we are lacking. Being grateful for simple pleasures is a beautiful quality to have, as they are the gifts that add layers of richness to our lives. Focusing on the things we have, the things we can do, the people in our lives, and the beauty of the Earth, will help recognize how truly blessed we are.
Stoicism has brought an immense amount of tranquility into my life. An examination on the works of Epictetus, Seneca, or Marcus Aurelius, to name a few, all have so many amazing teachings to aid in the calming of a chaotic mind. I find the most freeing aspect of stoicism is the personal decision to not let outside influences affect you adversely. This can be easier said than done, but the more you practice the stoic principles and teachings, the better equipped you'll become at deflecting emotions projected on you, without taking anything to heart. It would appear that the most prevalent reason for ignorance is usually incompetence and rarely malice. "Never attribute to malice, that which can be explained by stupidity" - Robert J Hanlon (Hanlon's Razor)
A practiced stoic is mentally self sufficient, accepting and appreciative of ones self and others. The discovery that your personal well being hinges on how you feel about yourself and that no one else is able to harm you emotionally without your permission, is an incredibly valuable realization. We need to cultivate internal self-validation so that we no longer seek it externally. We are all well aware of how badly it can effect our mental health if we rely on others to validate, or tend to, our personal emotional needs. For myself, stoicism is an act of self-care.
In regard to depression, stoic philosophy may provide some emotional relief, in the way that it teaches personal development, resilience and the power of maintaining inner stillness. It teaches the acceptance of the bad with the good, and to use those lessons to discern how to move forward with more inner strength and determination. It is sometimes easy to forget that our lives are impermanent, but keeping that notion in mind helps us to be more present in the moment, with the knowledge that one day we will move on from the Earth. I say that as someone who has previously suffered from immense fear of my own mortality. Since then I have succeeded in overcoming that fear, with the acceptance that death is, in essence, just the next step. I don't know when it will come, so it seems unimportant to dwell on it or waste time with anxious thoughts and fears, knowing my time here is limited. As is the time of all of humanity. We need to learn how to value each other a little more, and willingly extend grace and forgiveness to others when needed.
Life is cyclical and we would not be able to continue the cycle without death, as it plays an important role in our perception and appreciation of life. Stoic philosophy encourages the exploration of the nature of death, learning to prepare for it without fear, and allowing it to act as a conduit, encouraging us to better our lives. Stoic beliefs argue that a persons lifespan is unimportant, the importance is on the quality of the life lived. In the words of Seneca "It takes an entire lifetime to learn how to die," a quote from his book entitled 'How to die; An Ancient Guide to the End of Life'. This teaching gives insight into the stoic beliefs that death is a natural and required component of life.
Stoicism sometimes receives a bad reputation from individuals who are not informed on what it truly is. From the outside it may appear that the stoic is cold or unfeeling, only self concerned, but this is not the case. A stoic has deeply rooted values and integrity. They are thinkers, philosophers, problem solvers. They are self-disciplined and maintain their integrity in the face of opposition, urging others to contemplate their existence and consider a life of virtue and nobility. They are not cold, they are calm and methodic. They are not selfish, they are self-disciplined. It takes great internal strength to maintain an unwavering, unfaltering determination in your everyday life. Though, like everything else, it becomes easier with study, practice and patience.
Epictetus once stated "Small-minded people blame others. Average people blame themselves. The wise see all blame as foolishness". In dissecting this concept, we learn that it is useless to appoint blame. The word "blame" implies that you are holding someone else, or yourself, accountable for things that are out of anyone's control. We must be willing to accept that we alone are responsible for how we feel. Stoicism teaches that when you allow others to influence how you feel, you are handing over the reigns to your emotions. If we are not strong enough in our own convictions or feelings of self-worth, we must learn how to safe guard ourselves from the potential manipulation tactics of others. Being easily upset lets others know you are also easily manipulated.
Instead of allowing them the satisfaction of seeing the ill effects their words or actions may have on you, remain calm. Remain strong and guarded, knowing that their actions are purely based on their perception of the world and themselves, often having little to do with you. The preservation of our inner peace should be utmost in protecting ourselves from the disturbance of external factors. Remember the quote above from Hanlon's Razor, most of the time people don't realize they are inconveniencing you, it usually isn't malicious. Many people are so wrapped up in their own lives that they fail to notice(or care) how their actions may effect those around them. This is another reason why the implementation of self-awareness is so important to personal growth and development.
When dealing with challenging people or situations, delve inward for support. Find your calm within and maintain it. You own your reaction, and our reactions are often taken as a representation of ourselves. No response is a powerful response. Sometimes there is more to be learned from silence than from words.
Silence is much more than the absence of sound, it is the background of our life's tapestry. It is an invaluable tool that allows us an opportunity to be introspective. It urges us to go within, to unpack our thoughts and sit with them. More is accomplished through silence than we may realize. It supports inner quiet, peace, contemplation and urges us to reassess our values and aspirations. A much needed reprieve from the constant onslaught of noise that bombards us daily. The ability to recognize when to speak and when to be silent is quite underrated in our current society. Many know how to carry on a conversation with others but are unable to sit comfortably in silence with them. Being introspective makes us much more aware of ourselves and how we interact with the world around us. It gives us permission to accept life as it is and extract the beauty from those wonderfully silent moments, those moments we have, just to ourselves, that remind us to just be.
I will leave you to consider the words of Pythagoras, "It is better either to be silent or to say things of more value than silence."
If you found value in this article or would like to read more posts about stoicism, please comment below. Take good care. Love yourself, love each other.
There is a lot of wisdom in your words, and much encouragement! Thank you👍
As a younger person, writing for newspapers, I once wrote an article about listening too. It is a valuable habit to practice for so many reasons!