Have you ever found yourself feeling frayed, as if you were a sweater starting to unravel, and if one more person touches that loose string the whole sweater will fall apart? Or like you are a volcano that's only seconds away from erupting? Well that, my friends, is called Emotional Dysregulation and it is a common symptom of a variety of conditions.
Different forms of trauma and neurodivergence are capable of presenting various reactions to stressful stimuli. For myself, I struggle with being able to handle stress in a calm manner and to regulate my emotions. This would usually lead to me having very intense adverse reactions or emotional outbursts to seemingly minor inconveniences or last minute changes. Neither response being an admirable or preferable choice of reaction in any case.
Though the trauma I experienced was not due to anything I had any control over, I will be harshly judged by my peers and co-workers if I am unable to control myself and the trauma responses such experiences may evoke. This is by no means a justification to act out in any way due to past trauma, it is simply a reminder that people struggle with more baggage than we realize. It is also a shout out to acknowledge all who suffer from such issues and deal with them through self discipline and therapeutic practices, as it is no easy task. Reigning in your emotions when they are so close to boiling over, is immensely difficult and requires regular practice of self-love, self-control, and self-awareness.
That being said, I have found a few ways to diffuse the intensity of my reactions and developed strategies to aid me in maintaining my composure under stress. I will share them with you below. I also wholeheartedly welcome any tips, tricks or advice that you may have found helpful to manage stress or gaining control over wily emotions.
Strategies to help manage intense emotions
Setting intentions- When you wake up in the morning, take a few moments to connect with your intentions. Sit in calm silence, slow your breath and consider all of the things you have to be grateful for. Use your breath to guide your thoughts, as you breath in positivity and peace, and breath out negativity or any stagnant energy. Be present in the current moment and connect to your inner peace. Remember that whatever stress or challenges you encounter throughout the day, you can always reconnect to your breath and that peaceful energy that you established in the morning.
Connect with Nature- Whether it's taking a stroll through a park or just gazing out a window, nature has the ability to calm our senses. The blue sky instills peace and tranquility. The sounds of the song birds relaxes us, reminding us of the beauty in stillness. It is too easy to take nature for granted, but if you really allow a connection to be made to the energy of the Earth, it will help heal your soul.
Working out- Getting your heart pumping and your body moving helps by releasing endorphins which ease and elevate your mood. I also find working out significantly helps if I am in a heightened state of anxiety, and my heart is already pounding, I just tell my mind that my heart is pounding because I am exercising and it strangely works. Give it a try and let me know if it works for you!
Find water- Different areas of nature affect us differently. When it comes to anything involving emotions, water, in any form, seems to aid in soothing them and maintaining a deep connection to self. Immersing yourself in water is a totally different experience than drinking a glass of water or even gazing into a pond. Take note of its fluidity, observe the natural flow of life, and gratefully acknowledge our planets reliance on it. It has the power to remove impurities from our lives, both physically and metaphorically, it rejuvenates our spirit and cleanses our soul.
Talk to a friend or express yourself through journaling- There have been times that I was so incredibly overwhelmed that I felt as though I may actually physically explode if I didn't release those intense emotions. Removing myself from the situation and giving myself a few minutes of quiet to re-engage with my rational mind and create distance from my ego brain is crucial in maintaining composure. Reconnect with your breath and return to the present moment. Sometimes all that is required to release those emotions is to acknowledge them, accept them, and investigate what the initial trigger was. Knowing what triggers you is a powerful tool in your mental health tool belt. You can release uncomfortable emotions by keeping a journal or having a heart to heart with a safe person. A safe person is someone who is mentally stable and willing to act as a support to you when you are struggling.
If you are struggling with your mental health, please connect with someone in your support group. You can dial 988 in Canada to speak to a crisis responder 24/7, with no judgement. There is also https://reachout247.ca. They offer mental health and addiction crisis services in Ontario. I also strongly suggest the use of counselling, therapy and/or doctor prescribed medications for specific treatment. Mental health issues affect our brain and the chemicals that it may or may not produce, which drastically affects how we think and feel. Practicing mindfulness or starting a meditation to gain a deeper understanding of yourself and your emotions, can also be beneficial alongside medication or other forms of self-care. This world is not easy to navigate, especially if you are unable to find peace within. Please, take good care!
Love yourself, love each other. #peace
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